Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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