This dress was meant to end up on your floor
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
