HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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