I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
