You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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