don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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