this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize