Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
