at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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