i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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