you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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