There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize