K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
