Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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