I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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