Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
