at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
