Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
