Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
