So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
