Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
