ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
