how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I touched a dick in church today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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