brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
People in love make me want to vomit
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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