they need to just BURY HIM!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
