I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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