Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
