So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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