break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
