I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize