He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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