East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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