so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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