easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
