ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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