can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
