i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
