hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
