oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
