A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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