This girl is more easily done than said...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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