new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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