I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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