obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
True strength comes from lack of pants
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
