so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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