I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize