That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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