is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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