Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
