the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
tell me about the eggs
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
