Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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