can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
