Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
