I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
