He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
