I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
