I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
