Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
