And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
