Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
