Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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