Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
