is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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