Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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