i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
