Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
